1. Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
2. Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
3. The future will soon be a thing of the past.
4. Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
5. If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
6. “Meow” means “woof” in cat.
7. “No comment” is a comment.
8. I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
9. If the cops didn’t see it, I didn’t do it!
10. Life is a zero sum game.
(Quotes by him)
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